Musings on the Mundane and More
by chocoholic907
Summary: Hermione Granger, war hero and best friend of Harry Potter, starts having conversations with mysterious voices... Err, is that normal?    This is a little plot less one shot I wrote when I was bored... Read at your own discretion :


**Hello :D**

**I'm warning you right now, this has no real storyline. This is just a 1000 word piece of drabble I wrote during a particularly boring day. And I am not making fun of any particular author or story, just pointing out the general clichés that exist in the fanfic world that I love so much. So, without further ado, I present ****Musings on the Mundane and More****….**

"Lovely" Hermione cooed as she gazed at her own highly glossed lips in the mirror and batted her mascara coated eyelashes. Her eyebrows had been plucked to perfection and she had smeared large globes of eye shadow on her eyelids.

**Hello Hermione**_._ A mysterious voice from the heavens was suddenly heard.

_What? Who? Where?_ Questions suddenly flooded our darling heroines mind.

**Nothing to worry about sweetie, it's just me, chocoholic907, the author of your destiny.**

_Oh. Hello! Nice to meet you!_

Wish I could say the same about you, you air headed moron_. _I thought to myself.

After the war ended and Voldemort was killed, Hermione had changed. A lot. Her previously brown eyes had changed to caramel colored orbs with flecks of honey gold in them, and her frizzy bushy brown hair had become soft straight curls with russet ringlets that descended halfway down her back. Her figure had transformed from ordinary to that of a sex goddess – with mile long legs and a tiny waist. She discovered fashion, and was now only decked in tight jeans and navel bearing shirts, or micro minis and halter tops. Gone was the curiosity everyone had known and loved, this girl's thoughts were only filled with makeup. And boys.

Even though everyone returned to Hogwarts for their final year, Hogwarts was Hogwarts no longer. Here, the professors had gone mad and now allowed two highly hormonal teenagers, aka the Heads, to share living quarters. Also, gone were the school robes. Instead, students went around in muggle clothes.

Enter Draco Malfoy. No longer was he the villain. With his stormy (or steely or blue or green – depending on the author) eyes and Quidditch honed muscles, he ruled the school as the Slytherin Prince. (PS – He also walked around the common room in nothing but boxer shorts to display the aforementioned muscles to females who might be in the vicinity) Did I mention that Hermione was now the "Gryffindor Princess"? Important point, that. These nicknames, which were never heard before the War, sprung into existence immediately after the defeat, a time frame in which many fanfics were based.

_What? This is fanfiction? It's not real? _Hermione's mind asked.

_Whoopsie. _I realized I had spoken out loud_ ._Authors note to self: Do not speak aloud, thereby informing characters that they are in fact not real, and any and all circumstances they are placed in are in fact products of highly bored minds(like mine ).

_Does this mean I didn't get hot over the summer? This is all a lie? My relationship with Draco where I actually fancy the pants off him but I pretend I don't so as to increase the sexual tension in the air, thereby making it doubly satisfying when I actually make out with him, doesn't exist? My drastically altered hair and eyes, and my new designer wardrobe filled with previously not allowed and highly inappropriate clothes is all fantasy?_

She started weeping, but carefully, so as to not smudge her eye makeup.

Then, the incredibly awesome Chocoholic907, aka, me, started to console her.

**No no no sweetheart. This is all real. You did get hot over the summer (note – doesn't the sudden change seem almost…. magical? xD) you will go to the (overly clichéd and used) Masquerade Ball next week where you will spend the whole day getting/giving makeovers and will suddenly shock everyone with your drop dead stone cold gorgeous look – one which no one will recognize because **

**a) You're wearing a mask**

**b) They left their brains in the common room**

**You will meet a tall blonde stranger who will be handsome and chivalrous and rich and a divine dancer with whom you will feel a special connection. You will leave the ball close to midnight to roam around the grounds of Hogwarts, where under the moonlight; you will lean in to kiss. Just when you're almost touching, the clock will strike 12 and your masks will disappear. And wonder of wonders! The stranger, who you did not recognize in spite of his platinum blond hair and gray-stormy-blue-green eyes, will be Draco Malfoy.**

**You, being the highly modest girl you are, will run away from his embrace in tears while he chases you. Cue in a tearful makeup scene and there you have it. The two most unlikely people ever will become Hogwarts' next It couple. Aren't you delighted dearie?**

_Wow! Thank you so much oh benevolent goddess!_

**You are welcome.**

_Wait, how do you know what's going to happen a week from now?_

Uh-oh. Looks like our damsel has developed a brain.

_Are you like, magical or something?_

Maybe not.

**Yes, I am the greatest seer of our times. My crystal ball has told me what will happen.**

_Oh okay_. She smiled_. That makes sense_.

**Yes, yes it does. Now run along, and leave me in peace so I can continue this highly pointless storyline.**

_Okay. Bye!_

Whew. Peace at last….. So where were we, dear reader?

**Ha ha ha…. I hope you enjoyed that. I certainly loved writing it. Please please please review…. It makes me smile… and I promise to answer each and every one**

**PS – I read a lot of fluff when I'm bored. Including the overly clichéd ones. I'm not making fun of anyone, but this was a plot bunny that wouldn't leave my head. And neither am I making fun of people who wear make up(cause i do too) or anything…. So please don't get offended or upset :D**

**Love ya'll**

**Chocoholic 907**

**xoxoxo**


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